Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
