I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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