Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
