You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am puke
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
