i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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