Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
