Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
