He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
