vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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