Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
