so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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