I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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