I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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