I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
