that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize