I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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