her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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