i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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