Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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