They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
