My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i out mim tonsoeep
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize