Everything about him screamed your future.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
