yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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