i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
