Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
