I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
