It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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