we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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