Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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