Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize