You're my little dorito
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
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He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
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Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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