Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize