so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.