ADVERTISEMENT

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

  Fav 23 3999 875

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.

  Fav 5 1040 1701

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (310): View more from California

  Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.

  Fav 8 1032 2332

  share tweet
  

• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport

  Fav 40 4276 802

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now

  Fav 9 2245 3812

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.

  Fav 16 3885 1642

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.

  Fav 3 1413 1859

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  We are hot boxing the gondola

  (607): View more from New York

  I hate everything.

  Fav 9 1716 870

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?

  Fav 20 893 1221

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  PS my house is a mess.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  pps I have a rash on my face.

  Fav 3 508 979

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology

  Fav 6 978 475

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (574): View more from Indiana

  Someone stole a lamp last night.

  Fav 4 279 267

  share tweet
  

• (808): View more from Hawaii

  i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.

  Fav 1 220 279

  share tweet
  

• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night

  (302): View more from Delaware

  which are?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  library sex.

  Fav 0 65 7

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (415): View more from California

  I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.

  Fav 2 42 6

  share tweet
  

Randomize