Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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