tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
