i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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