So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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