she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
