I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
