he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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