Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
