My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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