You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
