how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...