i barfeds in our rink
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She even gives head with a lisp.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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