i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
