im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
