Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
