Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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