those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
