just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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