I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
