Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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