worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
