We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize