Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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