something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
