if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize