I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
