I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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