I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
