we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
