saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
