oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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