I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
