i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
